silver lining

You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you stay positive, you have a shot at the silver lining. ~ Silver Linings Playbook

I'm totally charmed of how brilliant this film is. The depth of the complexity of being human force itself upon you and you realize that you are no longer a spectator but a player lost in the character of each actor. It made me ponder on how  consciousness longs for social connection; on how love  touches what seemed too fragile for  contact, on how hope fills what seemed empty. 

The film opened up a reality that most of us refuse to look at. It gave a different meaning to depression, neurosis, hope, second chances and love. I believe that your condition does not define who you are. You always have a choice  to move forward and take that chance to happiness.

Maybe there is a touch of madness in each one of us. Some are just good at hiding it, conforming to expectations and lying to themselves. While others have reached that point of embracing that madness and mold it into a part of themselves that they accept and love. Which is a better choice? 

To My First Love

Hi! You're birthday's coming up. Sometimes I wonder how things will be if you're still here. Maybe the world will be a much better place having you around. You were that nice guy. And trust me genuine nice guys in college is really difficult to come by. And I'm lucky to be friends with one, I'm lucky to be friends with you.

You were the type of person who attracts people. Maybe that's the reason why I was drawn into you. You flash that charismatic smile without a touch of arrogance. It was always reassuring.It feels like you're telling me that everything's going to be fine without really telling me at all. I miss the days when we just talk of our dreams--dreams that are beyond us but we still partake. I miss the nights when you walk me home beneath the endless  sky, I have loved the stars since then. But more than anything I miss you.

I miss everything about you. Your artistic side, your childish side, your every side. You always say that people thought of you as moody but I don't really get it. All I know is that your very presence makes people assured. At least that's the way I feel about you. You have that sense of presence that no matter how I dwell in loneliness I know that I will never be alone. Because I have you.

You were everything wonderful. I can't seem to find the right words that would fit in my picture of you.And I just wish we had more time because I'm scared. 

I'm scared that one day I can't freeze our moments in my mind. I'm scared that a time will come where your face will fade in my memory without a picture that will remind me of how we once were. I'm scared that soon you will disappear in oblivion like so many people who once walked the consciousness of this earth.

But I know you. You live not to leave a mark. You live with the very essence of how it is to be alive. But yes you have left a mark to me and many people like me. And I believe that mark, no matter how it hurts, was never a scar but a promise.It was a promise of you.

Thank you. I was happy that in this lifetime our lives have crossed, in that brief moment of forever.

 I never had the chance to tell you, but I hope that before you have left for the heavens, I hope you knew... that all along, I have loved you.

march with love

This must be my busiest month yet. My school paper deadlines have occupied most  spaces of my planner. Not to mention my social life demands which have suffered great neglect over the past months. It's not that I'm a party girl or anything. In fact, I'm not really that active in the social scene. I'm more of I-prefer-to-sleep-during-my-free-time-girl. I'd get to be more excited with a promise of a movie marathon in the comfort of my bed than go out. Oh yes that's me, my fun loving adventure seeking self.

But every time the month of March comes knocking on my door, there is this pressure to reinvent myself, to try something new and to get out of my comfort zone. And for this year, I'm actually listing down the new things that I have to try. Well not necessarily immediately, I looove baby steps. And yes, did I mention the difference of baby steps to toddler steps? Kidding aside, I'm totally serious. To prove my utmost sincerity to this mantra, I'm sharing with you my first 10 :)

1. Learn how to bike

My roomie has been very insistent on writing down a bucket list for things I should do before I graduate. One of them is learning how to ride a bike. I realized there's no loss in trying well except for anticipated bruises and falls since I'm a proven klutz with a problem in my balance. Cheer for me?

2. Teach in the collegiate level

 Well I'm really curious on how it feels when you're no longer a student inside the classroom. And how students will talk about how cool I am as a teacher. Hahaha! :)

3. Organize a photo shoot

 Just to clarify, I'm interested to be the person behind the lens of the camera. I decided not to tolerate my innate vanity.

4. Learn how to play an instrument

Yes!! I want to do this! Just to prove and convince myself that I have a musical side.

5. Enroll in a dance class

 I'm in the stage of exploring the arts. As they say when you invest in the arts you invest in the soul!

6. Organize a summer get away with friends

I hope our Hundred Islands  plans push through. Truly miss bonding with the Levinisian gang.

7. Read books other than philosophy

Though it is highly unlikely to totally cut off from philosophy readings since I'm planning to make my exam next semester, I think I should allot time for other readings. Just finished reading The Fault in our Stars by John Green. It was painfully beautiful to read... Oh wait it's still philosophy.

8. Sport a new do.

Thinking about rocking a short colored hair, hippie-met-retro style get up. Though it pains me to give up my chic-girly-floral-floaty style. :(( I need to rethink this one!!

9. Attend a regional festival

Will be joining Phoebe the explorer to one of her adventures.

10.  Ride a plane

This is long over due. I have to board a plane. Seriously. I'm a generation late.


So much for reinventing myself. I love fresh beginnings. And excited for the kick off. :D

no man is an island

A very meaningful poem written by John Donne:

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

~John Donne